


To the Future

by Seraph_Novak



Series: Tyrus One-Shots [57]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Engagement, Getting Back Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Post-Canon, Reunions, Tyrus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 16:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20951543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seraph_Novak/pseuds/Seraph_Novak
Summary: It's been almost two years since Cyrus left TJ to go direct his first movie, with the promise that their engagement would still be on when he came back home. Cyrus is eager to be reunited with his fiancé, but it's been months since TJ last responded to his texts, and he's starting to worry things have changed beyond repair. Will TJ accept his invitation to the premiere of his movie, and will they be able to go back to the way things were before?





	To the Future

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! It's been a long time, I know... Life has been so crazy for me these past couple months, and I haven't had much time to focus on writing. I almost didn't finish this at all, but thankfully I received some lovely comments from a few people that inspired me to get it done. I'm not sure how many people are still in this fandom, but hopefully a few of you are still around to read this. I'm not sure if/when I'll be writing for this fandom again, as it's difficult to stay inspired without any new content coming in, but I wanted to make sure I gave these characters a proper send-off before I left them. If we're ever lucky enough to get a renewal (or even a movie) I'll definitely be writing more for these guys, but for now... It feels like the right time to say goodbye. I've had an amazing time being a part of this fandom for the past year, and I'm so grateful to all the people who've taken the time to read my work and leave their feedback. Thank you so much for your support. It really does mean the world to me. 
> 
> P.S. This fic is set roughly 12 years after the series finale, and the characters are all around 25/26.
> 
> (T.W. for mentions of cancer). 
> 
> As always, all comments and kudos are very much appreciated ♥
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://seraph-novak.tumblr.com/)

Cyrus stood on the edge of the sidewalk, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his navy blazer as the thickening snow speckled the ground beneath his feet. It was numbingly cold, despite the welcoming glow of the theatre warming his back, silently luring him inside. His cheeks were starting to sting from it, his breath turning sharp as it hit the back of his throat. If he didn’t move soon, he’d probably freeze to the sidewalk, suspended in a never-ending cycle of reluctant hope and inevitable disappointment. There was only one reason he was still standing here, after all. But with every passing second of snow-studded silence, Cyrus could feel his resolve slowly crumbling, his disappointment starting to overshadow what little hope he’d had to begin with. 

“Hey,” a voice said from behind him, followed by the gentle pressure of a hand squeezing his shoulder. “It’s time to go inside.”

Cyrus turned to find Buffy and Andi standing in the snow, regarding him with sympathetic smiles. The pity in their eyes made him wince. Today was supposed to be one of the best days of his life, and here he was: tears sticking to his cheeks like shards of glass as his friends watched on in silence, their expressions grim and condoling. Behind them, Marty, Jonah and Amber were huddled beneath the marquee, rubbing their arms and gritting their teeth against the biting cold. Cyrus spotted his name on the poster above Marty’s left shoulder, and a defeated whimper stumbled from his lips. This was his moment. _His movie_. The day he’d been waiting for since he was thirteen years old was finally here, and all he could think about was dirty-blond waves, sea-green eyes, and a dimpled smile that felt like home... Speaking of which, had he even sent his invitation to the right address? After almost two years, it wouldn’t be surprising if the house they’d used to share was no longer theirs, but Cyrus had been too naive to even consider it. Maybe this whole endeavour had been pointless from the beginning.

“The movie’s about to start,” Andi said, taking a cautious step towards him. She lifted her shoulders, a weak smile ghosting her lips, and nodded at the poster with his name splashed across the bottom. “You don’t wanna miss your own movie, right?”

Buffy shook her head. “This is huge, Cyrus. You can’t let TJ ruin this for you.”

At the mention of his name, Cyrus crumpled against the metal barriers lining the sidewalk, his stomach lurching as the memories of that dreaded day came hurtling back. He could see TJ sitting on the edge of their bed, frantic tears spilling down his cheeks as he held onto Cyrus’ hands, desperately trying to make him see sense.

_“You have to go,” he said, cupping Cyrus’ face with a trembling smile. “This is your _dream_, Underdog.”_

_Cyrus swallowed a sob as he clung onto TJ’s wrists. “No. Not without you.”_

_“You know I can’t go, Cy... My mom –”_

_“Then I’ll stay.”_

_“No way.”_

_“I’m not leaving without you!”_

_“Hey.” TJ dropped a soothing kiss between his eyes, palming the back of his neck as he pressed their foreheads together. “Listen to me, okay? As soon as my mom is feeling better, I’ll come join you. Just like we planned, alright?”_

_Cyrus sniffed. “That’s not what we planned.”_

_“I know, I know... But it’s better than you staying behind and throwing away your dream.”_

_“We can push the movie back, Teej. I’m sure they’ll understand.”_

_“For how long? This is _cancer_ we’re talking about, Cy. She’s not gonna make a miraculous recovery overnight! It could be months. _Years_. She might not even...” He trailed off, his hands slipping away from Cyrus’ neck with a shuddering breath. “I don’t know if she’s gonna make it this time.”_

_Cyrus captured his hands and held them to his lips. “Hey. Don’t say that, Teej. Your mom is strong, okay? She fought it once, she can fight it again.”_

_“And I need to be there for her while she does.”_

_“Of course, but –”_

_“And _you_ need to go make your movie.”_

_“Teej...”_

_“You know I’m right,” TJ whispered, bumping his nose against Cyrus’ cheek as he kissed the corner of his mouth. “I know it’s hard, but... I need to focus on my mom, and you need to focus on your career. At least for now.”_

_“But, the movie... I’ll be gone for over a year, TJ. Maybe two.”_

_“I know.”_

_“What about the wedding?”_

_As if by instinct, they both glanced down at their joined hands, the matching bands of silver glinting off their fingers in the dewy, morning light. It had been less than a month since TJ had proposed, and Cyrus had committed every single detail of that night to memory: the velvet sky of milky-white stars; the whistle of the wind between the chains of the swings; the goofy smile on TJ’s face as he’d gotten down on one knee, so sure of Cyrus’ answer before he’d even asked the question... It was perfect. _They_ were perfect. So why was the universe forcing them to say goodbye like this? It made no sense. It wasn’t _fair_. _

_“This isn’t goodbye,” TJ told him, effortlessly reading his mind as always. “You’re gonna go make your movie. My mom’s gonna kick cancer’s ass. And then I’m gonna marry the hell out of you. Okay?”_

_Cyrus huffed a wet laugh. “I’ll be on the opposite side of the country, Teej. What if we can’t make it work?”_

_“Hey.” TJ brushed his knuckles across Cyrus’ cheek, drying his tears with a lopsided smile. “You’re the love of my life, okay? Nothing’s ever gonna change that.”_

_“But what if you meet someone else while I’m gone?”_

_“You know that’s a stupid question, Cy. There’ll never be anyone else for me.”_

_“But it’s two years! I won’t even be back for the holidays. What if we lose contact? What if we drift apart? What if we –”_

_“We’ll find each other again,” TJ said, not a shred of doubt in his words as he squeezed Cyrus’ hands. “We always will.”_

Cyrus blinked, and the memory disappeared, the warmth of TJ’s touch swallowed by a flurry of roaring snow as he was wrenched back to the present. Buffy’s hand was still gripping his shoulder, as if she was scared he might run off at any moment, and Andi was cautiously snaking an arm around his waist. Within seconds, he was safely contained in their loving embrace, and there was nothing he could do but close his eyes and let the tears fall freely down his cheeks.

“I really thought he’d be here,” he admitted with a pitiful shrug, resting his head in the gap between Andi and Buffy’s shoulders. He could feel the weight of the ring on his left hand, cruelly digging a cold reminder of what could have been into his flesh. “I guess I was just deluding myself.”

Andi held him tighter. “It’s okay, Cyrus.”

“We’ve got you,” Buffy concurred, carefully steering him back towards the theatre. “Let’s get you inside.”

He threw one last glance over his shoulder, half-expecting to see TJ emerging from the snow, then allowed Buffy and Andi to guide him off the sidewalk and into the lobby. As soon as he stepped inside, he forced himself to take a deep breath and embrace the electric atmosphere brimming inside the building. All around him, people were grinning in anticipation as they filed past, talking in hushed, excited voices about the movie they were about to see. The movie _Cyrus _had written. It was so surreal, he could hardly believe he wasn’t dreaming. But then Jonah gave him a hearty clap on the back, and Cyrus knew it was real. He was here, with all his friends, at the premiere of his very first movie, and even the notable absence of one particular person wasn’t enough to wipe the smile off his face as he let it all soak in.

“I made it,” he murmured, his heart fluttering as they approached the door to the theatre, where his movie would soon be shown to a roomful of strangers. “I actually made it.”

Buffy nuzzled her head against his. “Hell yeah, you did.”

And with that, Marty held open the door, and Cyrus followed his friends inside.

~~~~~

As soon as the applause died down, Cyrus could feel his joyful satisfaction dulling to a deep, distant ache. He glanced at his friends, returning their grins with a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and acknowledged their congratulations with a stiff, awkward nod. The movie had been a success – that much he could tell – but his enthusiasm felt artificial, as if he’d spent the past two hours watching a mediocre movie through a stranger’s eyes. He could barely muster the energy to return Buffy and Andi’s hugs as they threw themselves over him, babbling words of pride and excitement that drenched him in a strange kind of guilt. He felt like a poser; he’d spent almost two years obsessively perfecting this movie, and yet his mind had wandered halfway through the opening credits. If it hadn’t been for the fervent reaction from the audience, he probably wouldn’t’ve realised the movie had even finished.

“Oh my god!” Andi cried, shaking his arm with an eye-crinkling smile. “That was incredible, Cy!”

“Docious-magocious,” Jonah added from the seat beside her, poking fun at his old catchphrase with a knowing wink. It was almost enough to wring a genuine smile out of Cyrus, but not quite.

“We’re so proud of you,” Buffy said, perfectly summing up the jumble of praise spilling from all of their lips.

Cyrus huffed. “Stop it, guys... You’re making me blush.”

“We’re just getting started,” Amber playfully warned him, her eyes glinting mischievously as she leaned across Andi and Jonah to pat him on the cheek. “The night isn’t over yet, Cyrus.”

“We made reservations at a fancy restaurant,” Andi explained in a mock-snooty tone of voice. “Only the best for our future-Oscar-winning friend.”

Cyrus rolled his eyes fondly. “What would you’ve done if the movie had been terrible?”

“We knew it wouldn’t be,” Buffy said simply.

“Yeah,” Marty agreed, giving him a brotherly clap on the back as he wound his arm around Buffy’s waist. “You’re insanely talented, man. We knew the movie would be great.”

Cyrus tried to smile, but he was too distracted by Marty’s hand as it settled on Buffy’s hip, his thumb absently stroking up and down her dark-red dress. It was such a quietly intimate gesture – one that perfectly encapsulated the fourteen years of unconditional love and support they’d shared together – and Cyrus found himself yearning for the distantly familiar warmth of TJ’s touch. He was on the verge of tears yet again, his hands shaking as he frantically balled them into fists, when Andi spotted something behind him and gasped.

“Is that... _TJ_?”

And just like that, the rest of the theatre melted away, his breath coming short as he glanced down the aisle and saw a familiar face staring back at him, half-hidden behind a drooping bouquet of soggy flowers. Cyrus stumbled back a step, blindly clutching at Buffy’s arm, and swallowed a startled sob. He was half-convinced his mind was playing a cruel game – twisting the shadows into what he wanted to see – but then TJ came into the light, that unmistakable half-smile tugging at his lips, and Cyrus was hit with the overwhelming reality that this was actually happening; TJ was here, standing in front of him, and everyone was waiting for him to respond.

“You came,” he whispered, his fingers absently twitching with the urge to reach forward and touch the other man, just to double check he was more than just a trick of the light.

TJ’s mouth hitched up at the corner, a breath of laughter passing his lips. “Of course I came.”

Cyrus winced at the faraway memory, and Buffy tightened her grip on his arm. Her voice was low as she leaned their heads together, her sharply dubious gaze never leaving TJ’s face, and murmured against his ear, “Are you okay, Cy? Do you want us to stick around?”

“No.” He shook his head, then flashed her a grateful smile. “No, it’s okay. I, uh... I think it’s best I do this alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Not really.” He chuckled nervously, his free hand reaching for Andi’s wrist as he pressed against Buffy’s side, soaking in as much emotional support from his two best friends as he could before gently nudging them towards the exit. “Okay. I’m good. I’ll, uh... I’ll meet you at the restaurant, yeah?”

Andi smiled. “Do you want us to wait for you to order?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“We’ll wait,” Buffy said anyway, her eyes still lingering on TJ. “You won’t be long, right?”

“_Buffy_...”

“What? It should only take a few minutes to officially dump his ass.”

“You know I’m not gonna do that.”

“After everything he’s done?”

“No one’s at fault here,” he said, giving her hand a placating squeeze as she finally tore her murderous glare away from TJ. “He didn’t do anything wrong, Buffy. You know that.”

“I beg to differ,” she said with a huff. “He broke your heart.”

Cyrus sighed. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“He was late to the premiere.”

“I know –”

“He stopped replying to your texts!”

“I know –”

“He didn’t even try –”

“I know, Buffy! You think I don’t remember?” he hissed, sparing a hasty glance at TJ. The other man was standing just a few rows away from them, and Cyrus knew he could probably hear every word they were saying about him. But his head was ducked, his eyes pointedly fixed on the bouquet in his hands as he fiddled with a browning petal, and Cyrus was grateful he was at least pretending not to eavesdrop. He felt humiliated enough without TJ knowing just how difficult these past few months had been for him. 

Andi touched the back of his hand, and he felt his shoulders sag. “We’re just worried about you,” she said. “But we’ll support you, no matter what you decide. Right, Buffy?”

Under different circumstances, Cyrus would probably laugh at the sour expression twisting Buffy’s face. But now he just felt sad. Back before his relationship with TJ had crumbled, Buffy had been one of their biggest supporters; she’d even helped TJ pick out the perfect engagement ring before he’d proposed. It filled Cyrus with an empty kind of regret to realise just how much her attitude towards TJ had regressed. He felt like he was in Middle School again, torn between his best friend and the boy he loved. How could he ever hope to go back to the way things were before? Maybe he’d been naive to ever think such a thing was possible.

“He’s a good man,” he said to Buffy, not missing the way her eyes softened briefly. “You have to trust me on that, okay?”

Buffy pursed her lips and looked over at TJ, her eyes narrowing as the other man cleared his throat and turned away. When she finally looked back at Cyrus, there was a tight little smile in place of her former scowl. “Okay,” she said, giving his arm one last squeeze. “I trust you.”

Cyrus swallowed thickly. “Thank you, Buffy.”

“We’re still gonna wait for you to order though, so don’t be too long.”

“Okay.”

“And if you’re not there within the next twenty minutes, I’m gonna come and find you.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t even _think_ about inviting TJ, because I only booked a table for six, and I’m not waiting around for an extra hour for them to find us a bigger table –”

“Okay!” Cyrus said, laughing as fresh tears sprung to his eyes. He couldn’t tell if they were sad or happy tears, but it felt good to let them out. He’d spent far too long keeping everything trapped inside. By the end of the night, he was determined to let the weight of grief and uncertainty finally slip from his shoulders. And as scary as that sounded, at least he knew his friends would be there to help him re-find his balance, no matter what.

After a couple more claps on the back from Marty and Jonah, and a rare hug from Amber, Cyrus watched his friends head towards the exit. It was a slow process, what with Andi practically having to restrain Buffy from pouncing on TJ, but they were soon the only two left in the theatre. It was a large room, and the silence was deafening, but Cyrus somehow found the strength to stow his fears and make the first move. TJ had made the effort of showing up, after all, so it was probably his turn.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said, anxiously smoothing down his blazer as he took a step closer to TJ. “I-I waited outside for you, but...”

TJ flushed. “Oh. Yeah, um... I actually saw you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I wanted to go over and say hi, but... I guess I was just nervous.” He shrugged, toeing at the ground with a shiny black shoe. Cyrus vaguely remembered picking those shoes out for him almost nine years ago, when TJ had been fretting over his first college interview. _You can’t show up in sneakers, Teej_, he’d told him with a fond roll of his eyes. _I’m taking you shopping. End of story._ He couldn’t help but smile at the memory, and the fact that TJ was still wearing those shoes to this day. Had he been too lazy to go out and buy a new pair, or was there sentimental value to the slightly scuffed (and likely undersized) pair he was wearing now? Cyrus couldn’t dare to hope the latter was true.

“Why were you nervous?” he asked, forcing himself to look away from those stupid, sappy shoes.

TJ snorted. “Why do you think?”

“You didn’t have to come, you know?”

“That’s not what I –” TJ stopped, shaking his head and handing over the sad-looking flowers. When Cyrus took them, TJ clasped his hands together and started twiddling his thumbs. It was a nervous habit he’d had since he was a kid; he’d spent the majority of their first date twisting his fingers together, until Cyrus had taken his hand and offered him a welcome distraction from his own frantic fiddling. “I’m sorry, I just... I’m not good at this.”

Cyrus gave the flowers a sniff. They might’ve looked a little parched, but they still smelled sweet. He knew he should probably say thank you, but he was struggling to form any coherent sentences right now. He was too busy internally debating whether these flowers were simply a gesture of friendly congratulations, or possibly something more...

“I loved the movie,” TJ said, thankfully breaking the silence for him. “It was amazing. And the audience seemed pretty into it, too. There was a couple next to me bawling their eyes out.” He grinned, a hint of shyness in his eyes as he regarded him quietly. Cyrus could feel his cheeks turning warm as TJ came towards him, a nervous sense of giddiness fluttering inside his stomach. “It was exactly how I pictured it, from what you told me. It’s like you brought your vision to life.” He licked his lips, his eyes darting down to Cyrus’ mouth for a split second. He seemed to be holding back from something, and Cyrus was _this_ close to grabbing him by the shoulders and screaming at him to get on with it, to do whatever it was he seemed so eager to do. “I’m so happy for you, Cy,” he continued, his voice now dropped to a whisper. “You did it. I mean, I always knew you would, but still... You actually _did_ it. You’re living your dream.”

_No_, Cyrus thought to himself, his throat rippling as TJ’s eyes fell to his lips once again. _Not without you. My life could never be a dream, unless you’re in it_.

“Thank you,” he said, his words slightly raspy. He took another step forward, having to adjust his head to look up at TJ now that they were standing so close. His nose was still dusted with freckles, so light you could barely see them against his pale skin. It’s not like he’d expected them to disappear in the two years since he’d seen him, but still... It felt like a reaffirmation of some kind. Despite the years apart, this was still the same boy he’d fallen in love with as a teenager. The same boy he’d gone to prom with. The same boy he’d said yes to spending his life with. The same boy whose barely-there freckles had always seemed like a secret, only visible when you were close enough to trace them with your lips. The boy who still owned his heart, even though it was broken.

“You’re welcome,” TJ said. It was his turn to take a step closer this time, and he did, the hint of a question in his eyes as he added, “I hope I get an invitation to the next one.”

Cyrus smiled shakily. “Only if you want one.”

“I mean, if you’ll have me...”

“Of course.”

At that, TJ’s face erupted with another grin, and Cyrus felt like he was staring into the sun. He could hardly breathe as TJ’s eyes trailed slowly down his face, so sure they were going to land on his lips yet again. But instead, they kept going, sliding from his face entirely as they followed the path of his arms all the way down to his hands, where he was clutching onto the dripping stems of the bouquet. There, they found the silver ring adorning his left hand, the one he’d worn every single day since it was placed on his finger two years ago, and Cyrus felt his stomach drop. He hadn’t even considered how TJ might react to him still wearing it. Would he think he was pathetic? Childish? Naive? _Desperate_? He could hardly lift his eyes to meet the other man’s gaze, too scared of what he might find when he did... But when he took a deep breath and looked up, he was graced with the same dimpled smile he’d fallen in love with at thirteen years old, and suddenly, for the first time since saying goodbye, everything felt okay again.

“TJ, I –” He froze, his arms falling limply to his sides as he spotted the blank space on TJ’s finger, where Cyrus had slid on a ring of his own just days after accepting TJ’s proposal. He’d bought him the exact same ring – a few sizes larger, of course – and had their initials engraved on the inside. TJ had sworn he’d never take it off, even when Cyrus was away. He’d promised he’d wear it forever. And yet...

TJ frowned, reaching for his hand not holding onto the flowers, but Cyrus flinched away, his cheeks burning with mottled embarrassment. He’d spent the past two years stubbornly believing everything was going to work out in the end; even after TJ had stopped responding to his messages a few months ago, he’d kept the ring on his finger, constantly telling himself that there’d be a reasonable explanation when he got home. TJ was his fiancé, after all. He wouldn’t just cut off contact with him for no good reason. His mom was sick. And Cyrus was busy. It was difficult keeping in touch, he knew, but everything would be resolved once the movie was wrapped up. That’s what he’d told himself every day, in order to get by... Had he really buried himself so deep in denial that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him? That TJ had moved on. That he no longer wore his ring, because he no longer considered them engaged. Had Cyrus really been living in a fairy tale of his own making all this time?

“Cyrus, what –”

“Your ring,” he said dully, blinking back tears as he hid his own ring behind the bouquet in his other hand. “You’re not wearing it.”

TJ’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, that’s not –”

“It’s okay, TJ. I don’t know what I was expecting. I mean, you made it pretty clear how you felt.”

“What are you talking about?”

Cyrus scoffed, heartbreak giving way to anger. “Don’t play dumb, TJ. You’ve been ignoring my messages for months. You didn’t come to see me when I got back. You left me waiting outside the theatre for almost an hour, like an idiot! I should’ve taken the hint a long time ago.”

He turned to leave, but TJ stepped in front of him, desperation flaring in his eyes as he reached for Cyrus’ arm. “No, wait! This is all a big misunderstanding, okay? I’m a moron, I get that, but you’ve gotta hear me out!”

“What else is there to say?”

“A lot!” TJ cried, the grip on his arm reaching bruising levels of intensity. It was only when Cyrus winced that TJ got the memo and let go. “Shit, sorry! I just... You don’t understand, Cy. I screwed up, I know, but that has _nothing_ to do with how I feel about you, okay?” Before Cyrus could beg to differ, TJ reached under his shirt collar and whipped out a silver chain hanging around his neck. Threaded through the chain was his engagement ring. “It got so hard, seeing it on my finger every day. It just kept reminding me how far away you were. How you were slipping away from me... But I couldn’t bear to take it off, so... This seemed like the logical solution.”

Cyrus gazed down at the ring, caught between confusion and delight, then snapped his eyes back up at TJ. “But... My messages. You stopped responding to them. Why –”

“I was scared,” TJ admitted, tugging at his hair in frustration. “You were getting busier. My mom was getting sicker. It felt like we were out of touch, you know? Our calls were getting fewer and further between, and I just... I dreaded the day when you wouldn’t pick up. I didn’t want it to reach a point where I felt like a burden to you.”

“So you decided to ignore me?” Cyrus asked, tossing the bouquet onto the nearest seat as he jabbed an accusatory finger in TJ’s face. “You wanted to hurt me before I could hurt you? Is that it?”

“No! I just –”

“You broke my heart! Do you realise that?”

“I’m sorry,” TJ whimpered. There were silent tears rolling down his cheeks now, but Cyrus refused to feel sorry for him. Not until he fully understood why he did what he did. “Every time we talked, you seemed so happy... You were off having fun, doing what you love, and I... I was at home. Looking after my mom. Missing you. Wishing every single day that I could be with you. And it was hard, Cy... So, _so_ hard. Some days I could barely stand it. I mean, there were times when I just... I didn’t see the point, you know? My mom wasn’t getting better, and you were so far away, and I just... I felt so alone. And I didn’t wanna drag you down with me. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t stand the thought of making you feel guilty, or risk the possibility of you coming home... Even though that’s exactly what I wanted.” He sighed, wiping at his tears with the heels of his palms. “I was a selfish idiot. I would’ve done anything to be with you again. Even if it meant you coming home early. But I couldn’t do that to you, Cy. Not when you were having such a great time. And the only way I could trust myself not to ask you to come back was if I stopped talking to you all together. I know that’s a crappy excuse, but... It was getting harder and harder not to tell you the truth, and I... I didn’t know what I might do.” He looked up at him blindly, his eyes brimming with pain behind a shiny veil of tears. “I’m so sorry, Cyrus. I should’ve... I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve listened to my mom... But I was a coward.”

Cyrus faltered, his mind desperately trying to process a thousand different thoughts and feelings all at once. But the one thing he kept coming back to was Riley. TJ’s mother – the sweet, caring woman who’d single-handedly raised one of the best people Cyrus had ever known – had been suffering these past couple years, and Cyrus hadn’t even bothered to ask TJ how she was doing. He felt ashamed of himself.

“Your mother,” he said, his previous anger long forgotten as he dared to place a hand on TJ’s shaking shoulders. “Is she... How is she doing?”

TJ sniffed hard and exhaled a shaky breath. “She’s, uh... She’s doing good. She actually got the all-clear a few weeks ago, so that’s, um... That’s something. She’s still pretty weak though. And with cancer, you never know, so...” He shrugged, the ghost of a smile passing his lips as he finally registered the hand on his shoulder. “She asks about you all the time, though. She still doesn’t understand why I gave up on us so easily. I’m not sure even _I_ understand, to be honest.”

Cyrus allowed his hand to slip away from TJ’s shoulder, inching slowly down his arm until his fingers were brushing the back of his hand. “And what do you say? When she asks about me, I mean.”

TJ looked him straight in the eye. “I tell her that letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“You really mean that?”

“Yes,” TJ breathed, his hands coming up to cup Cyrus’ face. “I still picture a future with you, even though I don’t deserve it. I can’t help it, you know? I’m just so... I’m so insanely in love with you, Cyrus. And I know I messed up. I _know_ I should’ve tried harder, but... I’m here now. And if I didn’t tell you how I feel, I know I’d regret it for the rest of my life. So... There it is. I’m not asking you for anything, I just... I need you to know how sorry I am, and how much I care about you. Because you deserve to know how special you are.”

Cyrus blinked up at him, completely in awe of this beautiful idiot of a man. He wasn’t sure how long he stared at him like that, his mouth hanging open and his cheeks ruddy from the warmth of TJ’s touch, but it must’ve been a long time, because TJ eventually dropped his hands from his face and took a step back.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t’ve... I-I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable... I should probably go –”

“Don’t you dare!” Cyrus cried, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him forward. With their chests pressed together, he could feel TJ’s heartbeat aching against his skin, and it felt good to know he wasn’t the only one freaking out right now. “There’s no way I’m losing you again.”

TJ startled. “You mean... You feel the same way?”

“I’m still wearing my ring, aren’t I?”

“So –”

“I’m in love with you,” he said, a hysterical laugh bubbling in his chest as he pressed their foreheads together. “I never stopped loving you. Not for one second. Even when it hurt. How the heck could I ever get over you?”

“After the crap I pulled, I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Shut up.” He squeezed his eyes closed, simply breathing in the familiar, boyish scent clinging to TJ’s cheaply-made suit. It was dark grey, and way too big, and so utterly _TJ_ it made him want to cry. He’d missed this so much: his stupid, lanky fiancé and his stupid, terrible fashion sense. How had he ever survived two years without him? Whatever the answer was, he never wanted to put it to the test ever again. “You’re right. You messed up. But I don’t care. Maybe I will in a few hours, but right now? I honestly couldn’t care less.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” TJ promised, peppering the side of his face with kisses that were long overdue. “I’ll never give up on you again. I won’t let my stupid insecurities get in the way. I’ll do better.”

“I know you will.”

“I swear –”

“_I know_.” Cyrus pulled back slightly, allowing their noses to brush against each other. “But right now, all I want you to do is kiss me. Think you can do that?”

TJ grinned. “If you insist.”

It wasn’t anything spectacular – just a featherlight brush of lips, almost childish in its innocence – but it was enough to make Cyrus’ toes curl with two years’ worth of repressed longing. His arms were wound around TJ’s waist, clutching at the back of his suit, and his heart was throbbing with an intense combination of joy and relief. His lips were still moving when TJ slowly pulled away, his eyes fluttering open like a pair of sun-peeled flowers. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think this was all a figment of his imagination. The real world couldn’t possibly be this perfect, could it?

“So,” TJ said after a moment of aching silence, slightly breathless and glowing with giddiness, “does this mean you’ll still marry me?”

Cyrus spluttered a laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am! I mean, I’m happy to propose again, if you want...”

“You don’t need to make a fuss,” Cyrus assured him softly, his hands sliding up the back of his neck and carding through the spill of dirty-blond waves on top of his head. He smiled, relishing the blissed-out expression on TJ’s face, and kissed him sweetly on the tip of his nose. “Just ask me again after dinner. I can’t make such a drastic decision on an empty stomach, you know.”

TJ chuckled. “What about Buffy? She only booked a table for six, remember.”

“We can draw up another chair.”

“Well, it’s your funeral...”

“She’ll be fine,” Cyrus said, referring to more than just the table. “They all will be.”

“You sure?”

“They’re _your_ friends as well as mine,” he reminded him. “And they all know what you’ve been through lately. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

TJ dropped his head against Cyrus’ shoulder with a groan. “I lost contact with them after you left, you know? You’re not the only person I froze out. What if they’re not as forgiving as you are?”

“Just give them time, Teej. They’ll come around.”

“I hope so.” He lifted his head, a pained smile thinning his lips. “I want things to go back to the way they were before. The seven of us. I miss that, you know? I miss having people in my life.” He shrugged self-consciously. “I’m so sick of being lonely all the time.”

There were tired lines bracketing the corners of his drooping mouth, and Cyrus smoothed them away with the pad of his thumb, his fingers dancing a silent tune down the hollow of his throat until they reached the silver chain hanging around his neck. With a gentle smile, he freed the ring and tucked the empty chain back inside his collar. TJ was watching him the entire time with a dazed kind of expression, his lips softly parted and his eyes alight with reluctant hope. It felt like an eternity passed as Cyrus cradled TJ’s hands against his chest, completely lost in the other man’s unwavering gaze; he could hardly remember where they were when he finally shook himself out of his trance and slid the ring onto TJ’s finger, back where it belonged.

“There you go,” he said, pressing his lips against the silver band. “You’ll never be alone again.”

TJ gulped, his entire face quivering with barely-supressed emotion. “I love you so much, Underdog.”

Cyrus smiled at the old nickname. “I love you too. And I promise, when my movie takes off, and I become a famous director, I’ll buy you an even fancier ring.”

“That’s okay,” TJ said, spreading his hand in the air to admire his freshly-adorned finger. Beneath the warm lights of the theatre, the ring appeared to be winking, and TJ was admiring it with a proud little smile that made Cyrus’ heart stutter for a few beats. “I think it’s pretty perfect already.”

_Yeah_, Cyrus thought to himself, reaching for TJ’s hand so their rings were glinting side by side._ I guess you’re right_.


End file.
